Wedding Speeches

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Wedding Speeches

Postby Protagonist » Fri 25 Jul, 2014 1:19 pm

So I somehow have been assigned the speech privileges(voluntold) at the reception to my friends wedding which is all well and good, except I don't know what I'm supposed to say without sounding unoriginal/ uninspired. Does anyone have any good lines/themes to recommend?
At the moment all I've got is a JFK paraphrase of : Ask not what this marriage can do for you, ask what you can do for this marriage.
But I doubt that would fly well.

Thoughts/ideas/one liners/ etc?
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Caeltos » Fri 25 Jul, 2014 1:28 pm

It's gotta come from the heart man. Best feedback I can give you.
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby ChrisNihilus » Fri 25 Jul, 2014 3:00 pm

A speech is like a song, same structure.

A small intro, something ironic about yourself or generic, not the couple.
A funny story
Another funny story or continue the first one
Something emotional
Funny story
Something emotional
Bridge (emotional but in a different way)
Emotional + Ending

Most wedding speech start from a story you live with he one in the couple you know, that's always a good start.
If you have a good one, you can use it for all the speech. Something funny but where, at the end, there is an emotional statement and a moral.
People love this kind of things.
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Torpid » Fri 25 Jul, 2014 4:10 pm

Why don't they hire a musician or a poet to write their wedding speech? Are you a musician or a poet? Weddings are stupid.
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Vapor » Fri 25 Jul, 2014 4:55 pm

Protagonist wrote: Ask not what this marriage can do for you, ask what you can do for this marriage.
But I doubt that would fly well.



Please do this. Actually just make the whole speech paraphrases of famous speeches with a marriage theme
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Swift » Fri 25 Jul, 2014 7:46 pm

-
Last edited by Swift on Tue 29 Jul, 2014 11:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Jazz-Sandwich » Fri 25 Jul, 2014 7:59 pm

I'll say what I would say for any speech: know your audience.

If you know that the couple and loved ones appreciate a little helping of cheese, the famous quotes re-jig will be an excellent way to go.

But at the end of the day, the speech is for two people in particular. You're conveying a message to them first, and coating it in sugar for everybody else second. Picture what you will want to say to the couple on that day, and worry about wrapping it in florid prose after that.

Best of luck mate, and it sounds like you're onto something :)

Swiftsabre wrote:That is very true, weddings are stupid. They are a waste of time and money that could be spent elsewhere on something better rather than spend one's life savings on some trivial ritual


Occasions can be symbolic and symbols can be tremendously important to many people. No, weddings aren't for everybody, and I would agree that many people invest far too much money on the occasion, but they exist for a reason. A wedding should be a huge milestone and turning point in two people's lives, and not only do people enjoy celebrating such occasions, they help make the occasion much more memorable for what is hoped to be the rest of their lives. Are they wasting their time doing so?
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Arbit » Fri 25 Jul, 2014 9:10 pm

Just recall a funny moment/experience that you shared with your friend, how it personifies some good quality that your friend possesses (loyalty, sense of humor, whatever), then cap it off with "and that's why [so and so] are such a good match" or something like that. Having a personal story you can tell with ensure that it will at least be unique, and if the story is amusing/touching, you will carry their attention for the couple minutes necessary. If you try for some crazy original shit or go for big laughs, it starts to be more about you than the newlyweds and you can end up looking like a douchebag.

If you google around you can find some good pointers. Like, make sure the story isn't embarrassing. Nobody wants to hear about the time the groom gave a hooker a Dirty Sanchez in the middle of a KFC or whatever
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Flash » Sat 26 Jul, 2014 6:12 am

Arbit beat me too it. Go for a personal connection
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Atlas » Sat 26 Jul, 2014 7:18 am


Sage wisdom here. I'm sure they'd understand the undertones too.

In seriousness, what ^ said; a little bit of funny story, a little bit of plagiarizing awesome speeches and you're set. You can do it!
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby RagingJenni » Sat 26 Jul, 2014 4:37 pm

Be yourself, which is as generic and clicheed as it gets. Still it's true. There is nothing you're better at than being yourself and you friend probably knows that, and that's why he picked you.

Some humour also is always good, but mostly for relief. Also remember to keep it a bit short and don't have public speeches before it. at my fathers wedding my mother in law's father spoke publicly to the guests around 3-5 times about a wide range of topics (games that would be played, songs, etc.) so when he actually held his speech half the people there wasn't aware it was his big speech. Something you definitely don't want. :P

Swiftsabre wrote:That is very true, weddings are stupid. They are a waste of time and money that could be spent elsewhere on something better rather than spend one's life savings on some trivial ritual..


It's not a trivial ritual, culturally within the families involved it's a major ritual. It's also a great party and fun occasion to celebrate a certain couple. If that is a waste of time and money then you'd almost have to say that going out drinking or throwing a party is a waste of money.
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Swift » Sat 26 Jul, 2014 11:12 pm

All depends on how one would prefer to spend their time.
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Flash » Sat 26 Jul, 2014 11:51 pm

Those of you saying it's stupid haven't had to attend a wedding for a good friend yet have you? When I was younger and had to attend weddings for family friends and family members I barely knew I thought they were a waste of time. But I recently attended one for a really good friend of mine, I knew her and the groom well, and let me tell you when that situation arises, weddings have a lot of meaning and they're a lot of fun.
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Torpid » Sun 27 Jul, 2014 4:07 am

Flash wrote:Those of you saying it's stupid haven't had to attend a wedding for a good friend yet have you? When I was younger and had to attend weddings for family friends and family members I barely knew I thought they were a waste of time. But I recently attended one for a really good friend of mine, I knew her and the groom well, and let me tell you when that situation arises, weddings have a lot of meaning and they're a lot of fun.


Not sure what you mean by "had to attend a wedding for a good friend", why would you have to?

Regardless you have a point. I haven't been to the wedding of a good friend because I got rid of my friends a few years ago once I started predicting the punchlines to every single joke they attempted to make in every boring conversation.

Oh and just because a particular ritual/custom is entertaining or even causes joy it doesn't mean it isn't stupid. You see if you're brought up in a society that reveres goats and also reveres a particular deity and you are told that upon your coming of age if you kill a goat that special deity will love you extra much then the act of sacrificing the goat will be rather joyful and bloody-well-meaningful to you. Nonetheless the act is still utterly retarded. Likewise it isn't the ritual of marriage itself that causes people joy, otherwise we would perform marriage rituals (dress up, have masses, perform speeches and listen to music in one sitting) as often as we dance, sing and masturbate. Rather what makes marriage rituals enjoyable is how we give them superficial meaning from the get go not individually but as a society even.

What I'm trying to say really I suppose is that there surely must be a more practical, economical and sensible way to express one's love for another perform than performing the marriage ritual and with enough societal encouragement and psychological investment/build-up it would be more enjoyable than the marriage ritual.
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby RagingJenni » Sun 27 Jul, 2014 7:56 am

OFC it would be better if we had a major social event that was min/maxed economically, but to think that would ever happen in our culture is silly. Spending is a way to show how much you care about something (spending proportionate to how much you own OFC) and the biggest social events will always be one of the more expensive.

Other than that I'd use the old saying "Perception is reality" as a general truth when it comes to marriages. Rituals doesn't matter as long as people believe they matter, and that's how it have always been. I'm personally not a fan of marriage but I can see the meaning of it as a social event for a group of people who commonly don't get to meet each other ("You only get to meet each other at marriages and funerals" like retired people around here usually say) and I don't think it's really overpriced if you look at how much enjoyment so many take from it. Only marriage I have been to as a semi adult is my fathers marriage, and even tho I barely knew anyone there I had a great time.
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby BaptismByLoli » Sun 27 Jul, 2014 12:36 pm

Try talking about what a great person your friend is and how lucky the bride/groom is to have them as their spouse in your speech.

In my cousin's wedding speeches, they usually talk about funny/embarrassing moments that my cousin did before talking about what a great person they are and how lucky the bride/groom is. But don't kiss ass, just say a few things about why he's a great guy ^^.
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Jazz-Sandwich » Sun 27 Jul, 2014 1:20 pm

That Torpid Gamer wrote:What I'm trying to say really I suppose is that there surely must be a more practical, economical and sensible way to express one's love for another perform than performing the marriage ritual and with enough societal encouragement and psychological investment/build-up it would be more enjoyable than the marriage ritual.


The marriage ritual isn't necessarily uneconomical and insensible. You just need the couple to enact the union, nothing more. People frequently do just this. Add a close friend or family member(/s) with whom to reflect upon the occasion, you've got a modest wedding event right there.

The large budget of many marriages stem from the size of the audience they have. If the couple wish for their extended circles of friends and family to join, they'll need to book an appropriately sized venue. And how to have a meaningful reflection on the event which includes a crowd of people? Speeches and the like, is the usual answer.

Suddenly you have your stupid, impractical, uneconomical and insensible wedding ritual, depending on how many people with whom the couple wish to share the occasion.

My point is, it's not accurate to call the whole process stupid when the actual rituals themselves vary tremendously from couple to couple. Some are, as you say, small expressions of love before enacting the marriage. Others involve those dear to the couple to join them in the occasion, from which the expenses slowly arise depending on the desired audience.
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Caeltos » Sun 27 Jul, 2014 7:20 pm

Sorry, but if you think weddings and the whole idea behind is a waste of time and waste of money, you're just pissing in your own bed. Imagine the awkardness if you end up meeting that special someone, and there's potential marriage, and you're life-partner expects a wedding, and you're just going to go;

"Yeah, no- we're not having a wedding. It's just a waste of time & money". I doubt you'll have alot of people agreeing with that conclussion, and inb4 relationship complications.

I've been through a fair share of weddings, and in February 2015 I'll attend one of my brothers weddings. You can imagine my sour reaction when you're trying to piss all over the concept of the weddings, when I love my brother, and I'm happy he's finally met someone who he cherishes. (The feeling is of course mutual)

Sorry, but I just get so fucking upset when you're literally just pissing over other peoples happiness, or once in a-lifetime experience, or one to remember. It's literally fucking retarded, there's no other way to put it. Always try to glossom over the negativities rather than the positives.
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Jazz-Sandwich » Sun 27 Jul, 2014 8:48 pm

Congratulations to your bro, Caeltos. Were you by any chance keeping an eye on the advice for speeches here for this reason? :)

Though I'm unsure if the argument that the gents here are having is about whether or not the whole process is pointless, or that weddings are pointlessly extravagant. In either case, I somehow can't see anybody refusing an invitation to a wedding of one of their loved ones, or at least to the after party.
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Caeltos » Sun 27 Jul, 2014 9:32 pm

Nah, I'm not looking for advice. We're a tight nit group of 5(6th one is a long lasting friend since we were born, he's pretty much considered a brother and part of the family) brothers and a sister who's been through alot together. We pretty much know each other inside out. There's many memories we can relate to, and they all know happy we are for him at the moment with the girl he's found.

Like I said, if it comes down to it. I'll rather speak from my heart and wing it the best I can. I'm not looking to win an oscar with my speech, I just want him to know that I'm happy for him, and not reading from a script. (Don't take that the wrong way, I know it's good to have a "remember" note)
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Arbit » Tue 29 Jul, 2014 11:05 pm

My own wedding ceremony was a small gathering of immediate family members + spouses at a B&B, followed by a brunch, followed by getting blitzed at local wineries. It doesn't have to be expensive and/or pretentious.

I do gotta say that the average wedding cost in the US appears to be $25k to $30k based on some quick googling and that is fucking insane IMO. Fortunately my wife agreed. ;)
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Toilailee » Wed 30 Jul, 2014 7:10 am

caeltos' swedish bromance
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Commissar Vocaloid » Wed 30 Jul, 2014 5:17 pm

I personally can't wait to attend one of my friend's weddings in the (potentially near) future. Especially if I get the chance to give a speech - I'll be sure to make a lot of jokes about the groom. The goal's to make him beet red in the face at the expense of everyone's laughter :p

So that would be my advice. Make the speech personal and relatable, and poke fun of the groom so everyone else can have a good time. But be a little easy on him, don't want to embarrass him too much ;)
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Toilailee » Thu 31 Jul, 2014 2:02 pm

They'll be divorced in couple of years anyway regardless of what you say so doesn't rly matter, and that's if they're lucky. If they're unlucky it takes them 10 years and they'll have kids to deal with after the divorce.
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Commissar Vocaloid » Thu 31 Jul, 2014 4:11 pm

Toilailee wrote:They'll be divorced in couple of years anyway regardless of what you say so doesn't rly matter, and that's if they're lucky. If they're unlucky it takes them 10 years and they'll have kids to deal with after the divorce.


Such optimism. Much commitment.
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Swift » Thu 31 Jul, 2014 6:23 pm

Commissar Vocaloid wrote:
Toilailee wrote:They'll be divorced in couple of years anyway regardless of what you say so doesn't rly matter, and that's if they're lucky. If they're unlucky it takes them 10 years and they'll have kids to deal with after the divorce.


Such optimism. Much commitment.

But there is truth to it. I could testify for that myself.
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Caeltos » Thu 31 Jul, 2014 7:49 pm

Save the pessimism for somewhere else please.

PS. I can testify that people are commited to a relationship. 9/10 of my friends parents are still together, and my parents alone have been together for over 30 years. It all boils down to how old you are, and how ready you are for a commitment. And all that boils down to the individual.

Saying that they're going to be divorced in 10 years or less, or when they have kids, is just disrespectful and assumptionous, and quite frankly - ignorant.
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Toilailee » Thu 31 Jul, 2014 8:17 pm

Caeltos wrote:Save the pessimism for somewhere else please.

PS. I can testify that people are commited to a relationship. 9/10 of my friends parents are still together, and my parents alone have been together for over 30 years. It all boils down to how old you are, and how ready you are for a commitment. And all that boils down to the individual.

Saying that they're going to be divorced in 10 years or less, or when they have kids, is just disrespectful and assumptionous, and quite frankly - ignorant.


To me it sounds like you're being ignorant here, and like you've been living in an extremely lucky enviroment.
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Swift » Thu 31 Jul, 2014 9:31 pm

Well, it is pessimistic, but a lot of people I know have divorced parents, so it isn't all nice everywhere. Might be different in Sweden, but England is rife with it. Whilst it does boil down to how ready one is and how old they are, my parents married at over 30 years old with a very good relationship between them, yet five years after they divorced, as with so many I know. Not to rain on your parade Protagonist, I am sure your friend will have a great marriage.
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Re: Wedding Speeches

Postby Caeltos » Thu 31 Jul, 2014 10:07 pm

Sorry, but divorced couples are a minority. In sweden we're usually single, but commited to marriages. Divorces are unavoidable for some people, no country is perfect - but trying to paint it as an immediate and unavoidable event is just silly.

You shouldn't deprieve people from their planned commitment and happiness of being together by saying they're going to get divorced and be miserable. Negativity is an aura that spreads, and if you intend on not being happy for their relationship or being general negative in their surroundings, that thing will wear off. They might be inclined to think that they've made a mistake in their relationship and question their judgement.

If you've ever had one of those moment someone says something negative/controversial in a conversation, you can feel it in the air that there's a sense of bad attitude going around, and the once happy-moment is deprived and will be hard to recover depending on the magntitude of the negativity.

Your emotional feelings effect other peoples emotional feelings. I can't remember if it was an old research, but I read it this year - and it's quite interesting. If you posted negative things frequently, or spoke about negativity in general in short bursts, other people would be acting similiar. However, of course - it is the same when it comes to being positive. If you're being positive, others will be alike, and so on forth.

Either way, going off-topic - divorced couples are present, I'm not saying they're not. However, trying to paint it a much bigger and exagurrated occurance is slightly irritating to read, and like I've said. It's downright insulting and disrespectful. There's no real reason to be so negative or pessimistic about other peoples relationships, or their status.

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